I've tasted deep devastation. I did not like it coz I know I was the one who caused all the frustration. I know one thing for sure that Allah s.w.t gave that to me because I did not help myself. I was destructing myself. And that was a BIG mistake.
So, right now, I am trying my best to fix everything. To mend myself so I can be the best of myself.
But there's this one goal that I have, well, my ultimate goal I would say, that I myself don't know how I can make it happen. And this goal, I really really want to achieve it. I bet everyone has their one goal that they really really want and sometimes to the extent that we feel like crying thinking of it. And yes, I have shed tears thinking about that ultimate goal of mine. I am just scared that I can't manage to achieve it.
But after all the tears, I've come to a decision. To not think it too much for I have another semester to go for my foundation. Have to focus to maintain my GPA. And after that only, I will make efforts to go to IDP or whatever to ask them to enlighten me with their explanations about how can I achieve this one goal. Yes, I will try my best to have the chance to achieve my goals, but after all the efforts that I will make, I am setting in my mind that if I am not fated to be there, it's okay. It really is. It's okay to be here too.